Paraphernalia
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bettydays:

I have a story.

So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake. 

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When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”

And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”

He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.

All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”

(Source: toocooltobehipster, via letsgetcheesecake)

icorly:

mike wazowski opens up a tattoo shop called Monsters Ink

(Source: asscrab, via floweryqueer)

saddestblogger:

when the only friend you have in a certain class is absent

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(Source: saddestblogger, via bastille)

ooh-bite-me:

when your mom walks up behind you while you’re blogging

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(Source: andallthesinners-saints, via paprika)

liliox:

Drawings that I have made in Miiverse

(via de-dennes)

pursingmyhappiness:

I see no lies here 😂

(Source: dealinghope, via amazingpihl)

x09:

*thinks about self*

*smiles*

*drinks water*

(via interwifi)

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